enneagram essentials for friendship

Read time: 3 minutes

good day friend,

back with part 2 of the enneagram series.

many people when they first learn their type, feel like someone read their super personal life diary reflecting all the insides of their brain & heart.

the enneagram is a mirror & just how some mirrors make you look better & others make you look worse so does the enneagram.

so as we dive in to today’s email i encourage you to read with a growth mindset. remember that no type is better than the others. we all have our strengths & weaknesses.

recap

in last week’s newsletter, you learned that the enneagram is so special because it’s more about WHY you are, than who you. your type is rooted in your motivations & fears.

your type influences how you see the world & by understanding all the types, you’ll better understand the different ways other types see.

you met the first five types:

📏 type 1 = perfectionist
🤗 type 2 = helper
🏆 type 3 = achiever
🎨 type 4 = individualist
🔍 type 5 = thinker

now let’s meet the remaining four types!

type 6 = loyalist, skeptic, guardian, trusted investigator, & questioner

this friend loves playing devils advocate & comes prepared for all the scenarios, but especially the worst case.

be a better friend by:

• being loyal, trustworthy, & following through on commitments

• listening carefully to their anxieties & lessening through reassurance

• bringing their attention to the real & right now in the present moment

type 7 = enthusiast, epicure, wunderkind, adventurer, & illuminator of possibility

most likely to have a million hobbies, a billion friends, & to live life the fullest.

be a better friend by:

• reciprocating (& relishing in) their positive energy & playfulness

• focusing them to the present moment as they start daydreaming

• encouraging to feel the full range emotions, not just the positive ones

type 8 = challenger, protector, defender of justice, activist, rebel, & maverick

likely the best bullshit detector that’s brutally honest & will pull you not only to do more, but to do more of the right thing.

be a better friend by:

• not taking their bluntness & tone personally, they live on the defense

• encouraging them to open up their heart & show their tender side

• reminding them they aren’t invincible & have limits like all humans

type 9 = peacemaker, mediator, healer, comforter, secret guru, & negotiator

most likely to be the most liked of all your friends, but also a homebody.

be a better friend by:

• giving them time to think through big decisions or emotions

• asking for their thoughts & listening until they finish sharing

• reminding them how much they matter & are capable of doing

type %’s

now to the enneagram metric, the percentage split of the population by type.

almost tied for most common are type 9 peacemakers & type 6 loyalists at 16%.

least common are type 5 thinkers at 5%.

the distribution does vary by gender.

for males, type 7 enthusiasts are the most common at 19% & type 2 helpers are the least common at 6%.

for females, type 6 loyalists & type 4 individualists are the most common at 18% and type 5 thinkers are the least common at 3%.

fascinating to see that almost half of the population are one of three types — type 9 peacemakers, type 6 loyalists, & type 4 individualists.

my pick

if you’re stuck on figuring out your type or just absolutely obsessed with enneagram, i’ve got a special treat for you.

my new friend, sara from empowered enneagram, is offering merry makery readers a discounted rate for a live typing session where you’ll get:

• 30-min virtual typing session

• 2 page follow up all about your type

• levels of development + sara’s special enneagram-based framework on how to actively use this to encourage growth & decrease stress

• journal prompts to get better acquainted with yourself

mention merry makery when you book to get $50 off your session.

i did a session with sara last week where i learned so much about the enneagram & myself. she even typed me differently than i typed myself.

i think i’m an 8. but she thinks i’m a 9.

if you know the enneagram, you know this means i’m sitting pretty in this wing between 8&9. so i’ll be using her journal prompts to get more familiar with my 9 side & learn more.

all together now

the enneagram & all the other personality tools we’ve covered — love languages, disc, & big five — are so powerful because they help you understand yourself & the people around you.

helping you zoom out to see the big picture of what drives people to be the way they are. understanding their deepest desires & fears.

realizing that the best part of each of us is also our worst part.

type 1’s improving too much. type 2’s giving too much. type 3’s achieving too much. type 4’s feeling too much. type 5’s thinking too much. type 6’s preparing too much. type 7’s dreaming too much. type 8’s being too much. type 9’s peacemaking too much.

with awareness of all the different strengths & weaknesses, we can cultivate compassion. for others & ourselves.

so whether i just introduced you to the enneagram or you are an enneagram expert, i hope you feel inspired to show up for yourself & for others in the best way possible.

xoxo,

p.s. whenever you need help, i’m always here for you from custom cards to corporate workshops to our merry membership. i want to make you merry!