mornin’ merrymakers 💌🦋🎨🤖✍️,
as i've hinted at before, i loved handwritten notes so much that i started a business around them.
that business is also how i met the man i married. it's a longer story that i'll save for another day, but you can probably understand why cards were always going to be a special part of our wedding from save the dates to the invite to love letters to each guest.
which meant i had some shopping to do.
& was surpised by how many definitions of custom came through.
a butterfly effect
i started on joy, minted, and etsy, where i found lots of personalized things, but rarely the kind of custom i was looking for.
then i explored custom stationery stores, where the pricing for something truly custom left me a little astounded.
all these spots made me think about how there's a difference between putting your names into an existing design & creating the design itself around what you want. both can produce something very lovely.
but they're different assignments,
with very different amounts of work behind them.
thankfully, with ai & a little creativity, i was able to design our invitation for significantly less money than the truly custom options i'd explored. as a bonus, i was able to leave even more of a lasting impression through both the design & the delivery.
that included a butterfly flying out when the invitation was opened. don’t worry it was made of paper & a rubber band.
this was loved by all guests, their cats & kids, despite the initial shock factor.
that little surprise was part of setting the vibes for the weekend & getting there raised a question that extends well beyond wedding stationery:
when more of us can make the thing ourselves,
what exactly are we paying someone else to do?
money is the easiest cost to compare because it's the one on the invoice. time & energy are less conveniently itemized. spending less money on a project doesn't necessarily mean it costs less of you.
1) buy something ready-made & you're paying for decisions someone has already made. the design, materials, & available options are largely settled. that can be a relief when you like what's there.
2) buy a personalized version & you get to change certain things within that system. commission something fully custom & you may be paying someone to help figure out what the thing should be, then bring it into the world. the valuable part can include knowing which ideas won't work.
3) diy gives you more decisions to keep. ai can help with the design, as it did for me, but someone still has to choose a direction, check the result, & get from a digital idea to a physical object. a smaller design bill doesn't automatically remove those jobs.
for someone who enjoys making, that involvement can be part of the pleasure.
for someone who wants the finished thing without another project, buying the help can be the sensible choice.
the same task can be creative play for one person & another dreaded tab open in someone else's brain.
personal isn't a setting
then there's the distinction that matters most to me:
custom describes how something was made for a particular brief. personal describes what it means between people.
a product can meet every specification & still say very little.
handwrytten makes this especially interesting. its robots hold real pens to write physical cards, using a message the sender supplies or drafts with ai. so the ink can be real, the writing automated, & the words still informed by genuine knowledge of the recipient.
a ready-made card chosen because it recalls a joke you share can feel wonderfully personal. a fully custom card can still carry a message that could have gone to anyone.
production effort & personal attention can overlap, but one doesn't guarantee the other.
the process still matters when it's part of the promise. an artist's hand, your own handwriting, or a particular craft can be exactly what someone values. just be clear about whose work went into it, rather than asking custom to explain everything.
a face on the front
ultimately, we decided to add another card to our wedding that was even more personal.
a custom-designed portrait of each guest, with a handwritten note on the back expressing our gratitude for the impact each individual made on our life. to be delivered as they sit down for dinner.
the portrait makes each card specific to its recipient.
the note gives us room to say something to that person.
together, they were a way to make space for individual relationships inside a celebration with a lot of people and not enough time to spend with each guest.
the invitation was a way to express something about us. these cards are a way to turn that attention toward the people coming to celebrate with us.
that's the part we most wanted them to feel:
we didn't just put your name on something.
we thought about YOU.
