the gathering gap

mornin’ merry makers 🍲📚🤝👟☕

i've been thinking a lot lately about how hanging out has become a whole production.

our grandparents would simply knock on a neighbor's door. drop by unannounced. host impromptu dinners with whatever was in the fridge. casual socializing required zero planning and even less formality.

casual plans are becoming more rare.

i know this from my own social calendar.

now we need calendar invites sent three weeks in advance. eventbrite links. themed cocktails. a reason™ that justifies asking people to leave their houses. we've turned the simple act of gathering into an elaborate production that requires props, planning, and professional-grade execution.

hanging out is now a capital E Event.

so it’s no surprise that retailers are stepping into this gathering gap. some brilliantly, others with lip service luma links that go nowhere.

today i want to make the case for why the best retail events are the smallest, most frequent, and least instagram-worthy ones you can imagine.

the blueprint builders

let me start with the brands that understood assignment from day one.

bookstores have had the cheat code forever. book clubs and author events are literally in their dna. you cannot be a great bookstore without being a great gathering place. people want to talk about books with other people who get excited about books.

cooking stores got it early too. sur la table and williams sonoma have been running classes for decades. when you teach someone how to make the perfect gnocchi, they don't just buy that $200 special knife. they remember, spread the word, and comeback to get their knife sharpened regularly.

fitness brands really ran with it. from day one, lululemon stores were designed to host free yoga classes. they built community spaces into their floor plans before “community” was a buzzword and before instagram even existed. your leggings purchase bough your membership into their somewhat cult-y culture.

now vuori, alo, and athleta all followed this model with ongoing programming in stores. some ever built out dedicated studios. knowing that getting people in store builds loyalty and drives sales consistently.

these brands built events into their business model from the beginning.

events were a core part of the product.

the retail ripple effect

but lately something shifted. events have spread everywhere. here’s a few that i’ve been aggressively targeted for just this past week:

• run clubs exploded. fleet feet, bandit, tracksmith are all running in circles around most major metros. i run into one almost every day of the week in atx.

• cycling stores like rapha created ride clubs with waiting lists. people will wake up at 5am to pedal with strangers who share their obsession.

• apple is pushing hard with today at apple sessions teaching photography, coding, and music production. delivering on their town square vision.

• aesop's fragrance immersion workshops turn product education into sensory experiences. you're not just smelling soap. you're learning the story behind the scent, the ingredients, the philosophy, and the best practices.

the catch

i’m afraid we’ve done it yet again.

we've gone too big. too produced. too performative.

yes, the massive activations are fun. bella hadid shutting down streets for kemo sabe. jacquemus throwing lavish parties in parking lots with custom everything. these create buzz, content, oress and serious fomo.

but they're not building community.

they're building spectacle.

and spectacle doesn't translate to tuesday afternoon foot traffic. it doesn't turn casual browsers into regulars. it doesn't make your store part of someone's weekly routine.

what actually builds community are the small, frequent, low-barrier gatherings that give people permission to just show up.

why smaller is better

few reasons to make the case for spending less and connecting more:

1. sustainability. weekly coffee mornings (xs) build more loyalty than a once a year influencer parties (xxxl). consistency beats spectacle every time.

2. relationships. ten people in a room have conversations. fifty people in a room are in freebie consumption mode. small gatherings let your team actually know customers and let customers meet each other.

3. budget math. spend $500 monthly for 12 touchpoints instead of $10,000 once. more chances to build relationships, create content, and convert browsers.

4. team happiness. big events stress out staff. small gatherings turn them into hosts who build real connections instead of bouncers managing crowds.

how to actually do this

→ align with what customers actually want. outdoor gear store hosts hikes. cookware store does recipe swaps. bookstore runs book clubs. find the natural overlap between what you sell and what brings people together.

→ make it recurring. "second tuesday coffee" or "saturday morning walks" create rituals. customers build schedules around your events and bring different friends. also gives your employees something to talk about.

→ empower your team. your best hosts are already on payroll. give your running enthusiast store manager permission to lead weekly runs. let your bookworm keyholder start the book club. authenticity matters more than polish.

→ keep barriers low. free or cheap. minimal registration. come as you are. every friction point cuts attendance in half.

→ measure what matters. not instagram likes or attendee counts. ask: did people make friends? are they returning? are they buying eventually? is your team energized?

the invitation in store

i really believe the next decade of retail belongs to the brands that become part of their customers' weekly rhythms.

sure the ones with the best ads and the one with the fastest shipping will still do well. my point is more that the ones with the biggest budgets won’t necessarily be the winners.

the winners will be the retailers who help us gather.

not with spectacle, but with consistency. not with perfection, but with genuine care about the humans who walk through your doors.

people don't need more instagram moments. they need a reason to put on pants and leave the house. they need spaces where showing up matters. they need permission to meet their neighbors. they need friends.

your store can be that space.

it just requires thinking smaller, not bigger.

p.s. once upon a time i was the newsie reader clicking on masterworks. i invested. today, they’re the ones sponsoring me. art imitates life, right? click to learn more.